April 20, 2007
this is not a picture of gay cats
The last three times I tried to write something here, Firefox decided to lame out and die on me. Oh well. What I was writing was probably useless anyway.
Since no one reads this except for people looking for pictures of Kathryn-Jean Lopez or gay cats, I may as well complain about Justice Kennedy's certifiably stupid justification for upholding the partial-birth abortion ban (Gonzales v. Carhart).
(1) Arguing that removing fetuses from the womb intact (partial-birth abortion) is objectively worse than removing them piece by piece (which procedure has no pithy, heartstring-tugging nickname) because they look more like babies is wholly corrupt, whether you're pro-life or pro-choice. What the fetus looks like coming out should really make no difference.
2) Arguing that the procedure is never necessary to protect a woman's health, but maybe necessary to save her life, is absurd.
3) Marching out the paternalistic ole saving-women-from-their-own-regret, bond-of-love-between-a-woman-and-her-child shibboleth is plain infuriating. By which I mean, thank God the Supreme Court of the United States has the fortitude to protect my fragile, hormonal self from my own potential future regret (in the unlikely event that my health, but not life, is in danger)!
4) On another note, why does my uterus fall under the category of "interstate commerce"?
Posted by onion slayer at 03:54 PM | Comments (0)
February 07, 2007
taste buds
Lately I've been getting sick at the rate of roughly once every two weeks, so I have been lucky enough to experience several different kinds of cold. This one is special, though. It has selectively shut off some of my taste buds. For example, I can taste that something is beer, but all beers taste exactly alike. I can taste the coffee in my latte, but I can't taste the hazelnut syrup (yes, I am lame and drink hazelnut lattes because I am too weak for plain coffee). I can taste the garlic in garlic cheese, but gruyere tastes like generic sharp cheddar. I can taste the sourness in an orange, but not the sweet part. As someone who loves food and beer and hazelnut lattes, this is serious cause for alarm. I should probably call a doctor and schedule an appointment, but then I would have to talk to someone on the phone, which is also serious cause for alarm. Dear God, what will I do?
Posted by onion slayer at 12:32 PM | Comments (2)
December 06, 2006
k-lo, i h8 u so
I am taking a break from work to read The Corner, the ridiculous group blog of institutional conservative magazine National Review.
There are all varieties of despicable people who post at The Corner. There's John Derbyshire, who is best described as a homely Humbert Humbert:
Derbyshire is best known for admitting he's sexually attracted to fifteen-year-olds 'cause women are too old and wrinkly by the time they're twenty, and also for saying that the U.S. should nuke the middle east. Even so, I think Derbyshire is probably the most likeable Corner-ite because unlike most posters, he is frequently amusing. Also unlike most posters, he isn't religious and doesn't ignore blatant scientific facts. That has got to count for something.
Most of all, though, I think that Derbyshire is likeable relative to such wankstas as the god-awful Kathryn Jean Lopez, also known annoyingly as K-Lo:
K-Lo is so thick that she continued to predict that Rick Santorum would win against Bob Casey, even on election night when polls showed Casey with a roughly 20-point lead. And then, as soon as he acknowledged defeat (thereby enabling the taking of this hilarious photo), she started proposing Santorum (whose name means this) as abassador the UN! Santorum as vice president in 2008! Hell--why not Santorum as president in 2008? Who better than a puritan 18-pt-loser douchebag ex-senator to lead the US boldly into perpetual ignominy, anyway?
One of my favorite things she ever wrote was the "libertarian case" for Santorum, which would have been perfect satire if it were indeed satirical. Sadly I can't find it--maybe the magazine's editors were so embarrassed by it that they took it off--but the gist of it was, "I know you libertarians don't want government meddling in your affairs, but THINK ABOUT IT--if bold social-conservative mavericks like Santorum do a really good job of regulating your life absolutely, then they'll take away the need for programs and regulations because bad things like divorce and single parenthood and drugs and abortions are the cause of social ills, so by getting rid of them we'll have no more need for government interference. Right?"
Also funny was her inability to understand why people might be suspicious of Bush's having nominated an anti-contraception crusader as the director of family planning for Health and Human Services. 'Cause family planning is all about NOT planning, doye. That or abstinence. I think K-Lo might know a thing or two about abstinence.
Other things that you ought to know about Kathryn Jean Lopez are: (1) She idolizes Mitt Romney, doomed Mormon sacred-underwear-wearing conservative presidential candidate, in much the same crushy way that 13-year old San Diegan girls idolized Justin Timberlake in 1999; (2) She constantly froths at the mouth over stem cells, and I seem to recall her having said that embryonic stem cell research is even more dangerous than the threat of Islamist extremism--and we know how the far right feels about Islamist extremism; and (3) As should surprise no one, she is a shrill pro-lifer.
Anyway, I think the reason why I started explaining about The Corner and K-Lo was because I came upon this post of hers and noticed that it could be transcribed word-for-word onto a non Christian crazy's blog--mine, for instance--and be instantly snarkish.
Look:
---
Correction: Apparently the correct title of the newspaper is National Review, not The National Review, so I have corrected my error.
Posted by onion slayer at 03:12 PM | Comments (0)
well, my christmas shopping is done!
Laura Ingraham has "former embryo" shirts.
Posted by onion slayer at 03:08 PM | Comments (23)
November 08, 2006
ahahahahaha
Posted by onion slayer at 03:15 PM | Comments (0)
October 16, 2006
my cats are gay!
At some point during the last few months, this blog stopped showing up on searches for Himmler--according to sitemeter--which means there is no traffic anymore. This also means I can post whatever I want and almost no one will see it.
That said, my cats are totally gay:
gross!
There are much less fuzzy, much more homosexual pictures of my cats, but they are not on hand so this will have to do for now.
Actually I hope this site starts showing up as the #1 hit for images of gay cats; that would be pretty cool.
Posted by onion slayer at 04:34 PM | Comments (1)
October 13, 2006
indispensable
Are you,
1. Wealthy?
2. Violently allergic to cats?
3. Nuts about cats and cursing fate for making you allergic to them?
Then this product is for you!
Buy your hyperallergenic kitten today, and also scroll through the unnecessarily long "cat facts" window on the side, where you will learn trivia such as "cats respond best to names that end with '-ee'," which explains why my cats don't know their own names.
There's also this:
"Some notable people who disliked cats: Napoleon Bonaparte, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Hitler." As opposed to the much better people who loved cats: Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Florence Nightingale, Buddha, and Mohammed. Obvious conclusion: If you don't like cats, you are a warmonger.
Postscript: I just cleared a bunch of spam from my comments box. I know this doesn't make me unique, but there were several from someone named "semen," as well as links to something called "cute chubby boobs."
Posted by onion slayer at 05:43 PM | Comments (1)